Again with the CHOICES!

I have said it before and I feel a need to say it again....

Life is all about choices.

This delightful looking child is my youngest...her name is Bella and she is 9.  She has Tourette's Syndrome (TS).  We have been struggling with how to best cope with this neurological disorder since she was 6. It has been a difficult road and most likely will continue to be but God has certainly been right there with us.  I can't imagine how difficult it would be without Him actually.

God was speaking to me very loudly this morning and I thought I would share with you what He told me.

At the end of last week Bella was having a very difficult time with her Tourette's.  Basically, what happens is she has uncontrollable motor and verbal tics.  She is nothing like what you see portrayed on TV when you see someone with Tourette's.  She does not shout profanities or throw herself around.  That is just Hollywood doing what they do best...exaggerating something to make it more entertaining.  Some people with TS have very large motor tics and even obscene verbal tics but most who deal with TS have ever changing minor to moderate uncontrollable physical movements and verbal outbursts.  These tics will get worse with anxiety and stress of any kind.  When I see Bella's tics increasing I have learned to dig a little and see what is bothering her.  She needs to learn how to recognize what is causing the increase in her tics so she can process the situation and move through it.  Sometimes she might be coming down with a cold or a bug of some sort which will cause her tics to skyrocket as well.  It really is a constant process of being in touch with her emotions and physical health.  It's rather exhausting actually but I can only imagine how exhausting it is for her.

I asked her last week when I noticed a tic increase if something was up.  She said no.  I pressed the issue a little but she was really unable to identify anything specific.  We moved on.  The weekend was ok...tics not too terrible.  This morning as she was getting ready for school she shared with me, through tears and tics, that she didn't want to go to school because nobody "gets her."  She went on to say that everyone thinks she is bad.  Well now...we need to chat a bit about that.   This must be the reason her tics where going bat crazy since mid last week. Here it is.  Her TS is like a never-ending game of Where's Waldo.  I never liked Waldo.

A quick overview of what Bella shared:  her teacher had pulled Bella aside, out into the hallway, last week and talked with her about a parent that had come in to talk about Bella and her behavior.  One of Bella's current tics is sticking her tongue out (Yea...I know....not too great for a 4th grader to be dealing with.  satan sucks!) and apparently this child was disturbed by it, took it personally and did not understand that it could not be helped.  This child's parent talked with the teacher about it.  The teacher pulled Bella aside to verify that the tongue issue was a tic and not Bella being naughty.  (picture a bear playing in the water with her cubs.....one cub is off, out of site....mama bear hears the cries of a cub...mama looks up to see an animal chasing the little cub....ggggggrrrrrrrrrrwww!!!)  Get the picture?!

My FLESH wanted to scream.  I wanted to call the teacher up, demand that she tell me who this parent was....what exactly did they say....and then explain to both the teacher and that parent, the torment that my child had been going through since being pulled aside into the hallway.  My flesh got so fiesty because I have had many conversations with the teacher about Bella's TS.  Bella even asked if she could talk to her class about her tics and what Tourette's is.  We found some great youTube educational video's done by kids, for kids, on TS.  Picture me yelling, "Are you joking me!"  Leave my kid alone!  Life is difficult enough without having to explain what has already been explained!  My child should not have been pulled aside, it should be obvious that she is not being naughty...she does this stupid tic of sticking her tongue out all the time....not just at this kid, who is probably a complete brat anyway!  

I could go on and on with what my brain was saying to itself...which happened in about a total of 30 seconds but felt like a week and a half!   Fortunately my Bella was off to school so I could process all this.  Anger with the teacher...anger with that parent!, anger with that snotty child, frustration at the lack of understanding, the NEED to call a few people and give them a piece of my mind.  Then God pulled me aside.
He gently reminded me of a few things...

Ecclesiates 7:9
 Do not be quick to anger, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.

James 1:19
 You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger;

It's not about NOT BECOMING angry because THAT would be impossible.  I see it as recognizing WHEN I get angry I need to know WHAY I do with it.  Anger is needed at times. I think we can all agree on that.  Scripture links quick to anger with being a fool.  I don't want to be a fool.  Who wants to be a fool, right?  It is at this very moment that I need to heed the Words of God.  I need to NOT be quick to anger.  I need to listen to my child, listen to the teacher to get the full story....I need to then pull all the info together and properly address anything that needs to be addressed.   I also need to take this opportunity to show my child what a life filled with Christ looks like.  Can I speak words of life to this?  (Proverbs 18:21 The power of life and death is in the tongue)  If I don't help train Bella as to how to deal with this, it will simply be harder for her to push through and deal with things in her life from a Godly perspective.  Now,  I am not saying that this moment is THE moment that I can mess up my kid, screw things up for her...blah blah blah....even though that's what satan would love for me to believe.  What I am saying is each day is so filled with choices.  As a parent, on this lil ol' day, in middle America...I had a choice.  

This is what I choose:

I will teach my daughter to be slow to anger (James 1:19).
I will teach my daughter to not be quick to judge others. (Matt 7:1,2)
I will teach my daughter to expect the best of others and not to jump to conclusions. (1 Cor 13)
I will teach my daughter to be patient with others because they just don't understand. (Eph 4:1-2, plus tons of others!)
Most importantly, I will try to SHOW my daughter that when life gets hard, which is does, I will rest in Him (Matt 11:28-30)...I will lean on Him and I will run to Him and His word for guidance   Because without this, I would be a quickly angered, impatient, foul mouthed fool who could do major damage with words....all in the name of protecting my child....but with the results of only hurting her.    

I praise God for His work in my life...I am lost without Him!  Selah.