During the course of one day, maybe one week, how often would you say you are offended by someone? Think about what a co-worker or boss might say to you. How about an in-law, spouse, family member, child, neighbor, friend. It doesn't have to be a huge thing either. Think of those things that just make ya think..."well!" or "did she just say that?" or "uh!"
Do you get what I'm after? I used to be a girl that was very easily offended. Many things seemed to be a direct offense to my personal being. Then, as we all do, I would re-act to the offense I felt. Never a good thing. One relationship that was most often negatively effected by this way of thinking was my marriage.
Then God got a hold of me. (praise God!) First, he gently showed me HIS definition of love from His Word... "Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. Love is not easily offended......" (1 Corinthians 13)
Some versions say "irritated easily". I think I like easily offended the best because it gets right to the heart of ME! Yuck. Not pleasant to come to a realization about yourself, is it? I was one of those "eggshell" people. You know the kind I am talking about. The kind that people had to behave gingerly around. You either know one or maybe you ARE one. God calls us to not be this way. He specifically names it in scripture. Take heart though. If God names something, it is because He knows it will be a struggle for lots of people. (Hopefully you take comfort in knowing you are not alone!)
I find it helpful to break things down to get a true understanding of what it means. So, let's define offend.
OFFEND: to cause pain; to cause to feel vexation or resentment usually by violation of what is proper or fitting. So, if you are a person (like myself) who was/is easily offended, this means that you take what people say so personally that it causes pain. More to the point, what people said to you violate what is proper or fitting. Think about that! .................... In my little brain, when people said things that did not line up with what I thought was proper, I became offended. Really?? What I thought was of course the only proper way to think about things. (Gross!) At its core, this is straight up PRIDE. This is thinking so highly of ones self that there is no room of others thoughts, opinions, words.
We are a culture of people who hold themselves so high. This pertains to believers and non-believers in my opinion. The bible is filled with men and women who are truly humble. They know where their fortune comes from, they know where their power lies. It is with God alone. Once I realized how I was putting the god of self before the one true God, I could see how often I was being offended by others, prideful, and living in opposition to how God calls us to live. Ouch. For years, I had no idea that I was thinking this way. Sometimes this attitude is immaturity and as we get older, it decreases. For some, it never decreases. Now that I have learned of this prevalent attitude and mind set, how wonderful it is for my parenting skills. I can train my children in the way they should go! I can point out what is at the base of their behavior, thoughts, attitude. Praise God!
I still have times when I slip back into what my flesh wants. I am sooo much better than before though. Every once in awhile, I need to revisit this idea of "being offended". I have to ask myself, "am I thinking too highly of me and starting to be offended too easily?" My hope is that this blog entry is that "revisiting" for some or maybe even God's way of showing them for the first time that they are "offended too easily."
Blessings.
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